What would you do when you've always tried being open&honest with your kids, but your 12yr old daughter seems

Well, when my daughter feels upset or cornered she won't talk to me adn she is 7. She is very open and fun, but when she feels cornered she wont' talk to me. I wouldn NOT say you are upset or disapointed. My mom always said that back in the. It magnified from there to a point where she tried to use her 'hurt' to control me and put guilt on me. I would just say 'when you act like an adult you get treated like one' and give her freedom and don't even call.. but when she acts secretive and you get that vibe that something is up or she is disrepectful and won't commuinicate.. then start taking away privleges.. like a phone, or tv.. or even going out.. giver her chores... Let her choose how much freedom she gets.. cause and effect.. no emotion.. just fact. You act this way, this is the result.. for her benefit or not, it's her choice.